When the World Asks Everyone Else

What about him? Three words that invite us to reconsider whose suffering we recognize. Domestic violence awareness must make room for women, children, and men. Hearing one survivor does not diminish another. In my earlier personal October tribute, I explored the importance of speaking about abuse. This year I want to ask what happens when a man is afraid to speak.

The Lessons We Teach Boys

Be strong. Don’t cry. Handle it. Boys may grow up hearing these words so often that they mistake silence for resilience. Yet strength and vulnerability can exist together. My reflection on change, compromise, and conformity asks what we lose when expectations pressure us to hide who we are.

Abuse Is Abuse

Abuse can involve intimidation, humiliation, threats, coercive control, isolation, and emotional, financial, or physical harm. A man can experience these behaviors too. No one should be dismissed because their experience challenges a stereotype. Our archive’s Abuse: The Destroyer of Families adds another perspective on the harm abuse can cause in family life. Making room for men to speak does not take attention away from women who have experienced abuse. We can listen to both without treating either person’s experience as less important.

When My Writing Speaks

Before this October reflection, I was already exploring trust, broken relationships, and the emotional consequences of pain through poetry and prose. In Scars Never Forget, I considered the memories left after trust breaks. In The Mask We Marry, I explored the roles people perform in relationships and the distance between appearance and reality. My book ChronicleS — Where Shadows Breathe includes Puzzle Pieces — Completion, a literary account of broken trust, abuse, and reclaiming identity. These are different creative perspectives; they should not all be read as literal autobiography. But each invites us to ask how much a person can carry without being heard.

What About Him? The Music

My song What About Him continues the question. What about his feelings? His dignity? His right to seek support without ridicule? Listen, then ask yourself whether we have made enough room for men to speak honestly. Explore my WSB—ChronicleS music and the stories behind it.

When the Mask Becomes the Face

In The Mask We Marry, I questioned how relationships can become performances. Someone may appear composed while struggling privately. We cannot diagnose another person’s experience from their smile or their silence. We can, however, listen without mocking them, believe that men can be harmed, and offer practical support.

A Message From the British Virgin Islands

Community awareness: Family Support Network, British Virgin Islands

These four campaign materials were supplied by Didi. The Family Support Network’s original artwork and messaging are reproduced with attribution.

Family Support Network hotline: 284-499-0999. For details, see the campaign materials above.

Participating in the Family Support Network awareness campaign in the British Virgin Islands reinforced a simple message: men can be victims, too. Men can suffer in silence, too. That message does not diminish the experiences of women. It calls us to protect dignity without exceptions. [Campaign images and public service announcement to be inserted after upload.]

What Our Children Learn

Children notice what adults normalize. When humiliation is treated as humor or control is mistaken for love, unhealthy lessons can be passed down. Conflict is not the same as abuse. Respect, accountability, and boundaries belong in every relationship. My reflection on self-control explores the responsibility to choose restraint over harm.

Beyond October

Purple ribbons and awareness campaigns matter. So does the response a survivor receives after they speak. Ask without judgment. Listen without ridicule. Offer support without taking away the person’s choices. October must lead to safer conversations all year. Women deserve to be heard. Children deserve protection. Men deserve support. Not instead of her. Not more than her. Alongside her. Because his humanity matters, too.

Support and References

In the British Virgin Islands, Family Support Network campaign materials list 284-499-0999. In the United States, the National Domestic Violence Hotline offers confidential support at 800-799-SAFE (7233). For background, see the CDC’s intimate partner violence resources. For immediate danger, contact local emergency services.

Explore the Stories Behind the Music

If this reflection speaks to you, explore the poetry, prose, and music behind it in ChronicleS — Where Shadows Breathe. For October, readers and listeners can save 50% on the digital eBook or the complete 23-track album with bonus eBook.

Coupon: OCTOBER-VOICES-50 · Enter at KVI Network checkout · Valid through October 31, 2026. Applies only to these two digital products. Discount calculated at checkout.